At the begining of last class, you checked our first paragraph and tell us how it should be. The first paragraph is introducing paragraph, so it doesn't need arguments. Arguments come later. We need to give background, example and get attention in first paragraph.
On the contrary, we do not need
・ "me you us our "
・question
・"and so on"
in academic writing.
We have to fix first para in accordance with your advice. Then we need to make next para. We use 2nd strongest reason at first. Strongest reason is used at last.
At each para, it need
・topic sentence 1
・supportng sentences 3~8
・concluding sentence 1
do not be choppy , flow together
There are many mistakes and not academic words in my essay, so I'm going to fix it till next class. Please point out my mistakes again.
Thank you.
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